More than a Feeling

If you have enough time read Matthew 18.

The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. Matthew 18:27

Have you ever tried controlling your feelings? When you do – what is your rate of success?

Emotions can be an extremely slippery item to put in check (not impossible, but certainly difficult).

In last week’s devotion on Crazy Love (past devos can be found below) we talked about how one of the ways to love someone else (especially those who might not be very good at showing love toward us) is through forgiveness.

One definition of forgiveness that I came across states that forgiveness is losing the feeling of the need for revenge because of another’s wrongdoing. Another is ceasing to feel angry against someone who has wronged you.

While these changes in feelings may certainly accompany, or follow, forgiveness, if this manipulation of our feelings is what actual forgiveness is – well then my guess is that many of us aren’t going to get very far when it comes to actually forgiving someone.

Personally I like the parable presented by Jesus as recorded in Matthew 18. In this parable, in order to illustrate forgiveness, Jesus uses the image of a king canceling the debt of his servant.

To me this is very helpful (and not just because we’re in an economy where lots of us could use our “debts” cancelled).

It is helpful because of this – on the one hand it recognizes that there IS an actual debt to be paid. My job isn’t to trick myself into feeling or thinking that what the person did really wasn’t wrong OR that they shouldn’t have to pay to make it up to me.

Rather forgiveness recognizes the reality of the wrong that was committed AND recognizes that they indeed should make up for it BUT then cancels this requirement that they make up for it. The debt – a REAL debt brought on by a REAL wrong – gets cancelled. I no longer am holding you accountable (“your account has been cleared”) for the wrong you have done. Payback is no longer necessary – indeed it is not accepted, for your debt is now gone.

At the same time, on the other hand, forgiveness as “canceling the debt” recognizes that there is still a cost involved. The king in the parable took a real loss by canceling the debt of his servant. He didn’t just feel differently toward the servant – he suffered a loss on his servant’s behalf. The king in essence paid the price to let the servant go free.

For us too, it would be foolish and unrealistic to think that forgiveness is something we can give away without cost. In fact the price we pay to forgive others is exactly the reason why in some cases we hesitate and even refuse to forgive. And yet – (and this is the key to it all, isn’t it?) – there is One who is willing to pay that price for them even when we can’t pay it ourselves. The One who pays the price so that we might have our debt cancelled is also the One who is willing to pay the price to free us to cancel the debt of those who owe us.

Having trouble forgiving someone – or forgiving them yet again? Go ahead – charge their debt to HIM this time – that is why He is here.

Prayer: Lord Jesus, you came both to reconcile us with our Creator AND to reconcile us with each other. Even as you draw us nearer to yourself, may your grace also wipe away the debts, the trespasses, the sins which we hold against one another – as you continue to show us what love truly is. In your name. Amen.